Sacrifice / Investment / Fear/ Courage

I saw this quote on Facebook today.  This is what I'm hoping for.  <3

This graph was from the blog I follow called Fertile Findings.   That's how I feel.
 I didn't know 2015 would be all about facing my fears.   But a lot of it was.  And I won't say I've overcome those fears.  Sometimes you just do it anyway.  (Like the graph shows.)

I heard a quote that says:  "Courage is doing what is right in spite of being afraid."   Now, I'm not saying that if I didn't go ahead with the shots and the rest of the IVF cycle, that it would be wrong.  This is a personal choice.  I guess I'm just saying that sometimes you still do things even though you're afraid.  (Focusing on the big picture.)  In the long run... this will all be worth it.

Again, this is all easier said than done.  My shots start back up again soon.  At that point is when I'll REALLY need to focus on these mantras.  Because that's when things will start getting difficult.  It's easy for me to talk about facing my fears.  This all sounds good in theory.  It's much different when you are actually fighting to work through that fear, and do what needs to be done... even though it's painful.  

I guess that what it comes down to.  I really don't like painful things.  ;)  

I remember one time my friend Dave and I were skiing, and we accidentally ended up on a really steep double-black diamond slope.  There was no way to turn around.  And there was no where to go but down.  (Even though it was so steep and icy, I knew full well this was WAY beyond my ability level.)  But what options did I have?  He could go down and get ski patrol to carry me down on a toboggan... (Which I didn't really want to do.) 

 Or I could try to make my way down the best I could.  And that's what I did.  Most the time I was sliding down on my butt.  Then I'd get up a ski it as best I could.  And a few times I fell and biffed it hard.  And that scared me.  And sometimes it hurt when I fell.  But he would help me gather up my scattered ski equipment and we'd try it again.

And this is kind of how I face the trials in my life.  I just keep going until I fall.  Then I get up and try again.  Eventually skiing with Dave did make me a better skier.  Because he pushed me to try things that were hard for me.  (That being said, neither of us meant to end up on the double black diamond slope, that was an accident.)  But I got through it.

And I think this trial of infertility has definitely brought my closer to my husband Devon.  Because I've had to let him see me vulnerable.  And I've had to let him help me.  He's helping me get through my double-black diamond slope of infertility that we somehow ended up on.  (Never intended to be here.)  But since we are here... we have to try to get through it somehow!