Baseline appointment

One day that's going to have a baby in there! 

(Hopefully!  That's the plan anyway.)

This sounds weird, but lately I've started thinking this is going to work.  And it's going to result in pregnancy.  I know that sounds weird, because why would I go through all this if I didn't think it was going to work??

 Before my thought process was that we're running out of time, so this is my last resort.  I'll try it, and if it works, it works.  And if it doesn't, then at least I'll have closure.  And be able to move on.  So this was just kind of an experiment.  And I wasn't putting any emotional investment into it.  (any more than I had to.)  Especially since now we're down to only one embryo to work with.

But for whatever reason, lately I've started thinking/ believing that it will take and I'll get pregnant.  I know we only have one left, but all I need is one embryo to get pregnant.

Last Friday, I had a "baseline" appointment.  The usual blood draw and ultrasound.

They called me in the afternoon, and my hormone levels are looking good.

This is the start of the FET cycle (page 2 of my complicated Excel drug spreadsheet.)

That means we're on the downhill stretch!  :)    OK, weeks and weeks of the downhill stretch.   But each shot I get is one less that I ever have to do again.  (If that makes sense.)

 Last week, I started the Lupron shots again, and then Sunday I added the Neupogen shot too.  

I ice the area before I get the shots to numb it.  It helps.  These ones have little needles (30 gage).  So most nights, it's not too bad.  (Sometimes they go in easier than others.)  These are all sub-cutaneous.  My bad ones don't start for 2 more weeks.  (The Lovenox is a blood thinner, so I've heard it gives you bruises.  And the Progesterone shot is intra-muscular.)   :P  But I don't have to do those yet.

Besides the crazy drug schedule, things have been pretty positive.  I've been trying to be more thankful during this trial in my life.  And I think it's helping.  I'm thankful Devon knows how to even give shots.  (Because if he was a sissy like me, we wouldn't even be able to attempt this.)  I'm thankful these medicines exist, so I at least have a chance of trying to get pregnant.  I'm thankful for the peace that can come when I get a priesthood blessing (special prayer) from my hubby.  I'm thankful this trial has brought my hubby and I closer together as a couple.  I'm thankful for Devon's patience with me when I'm not ready to get the shots.  And I'm thankful I have wonderfully supportive friends and family.  So... right now... things are going pretty good.

I have my moments.  Like when I was at the store on Saturday, when I saw a young mom with her stroller carrying twins.  I got a twinge of jealousy.  But then I realized what I was doing.  I was being envious.  And I need to count my blessings.  And not compare myself to others.  I am where I am in my life for a reason.  Time to focus on the good things in my life.  And be patient.  Good things come to those who wait.

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding." - Proverbs 3:5