Don't put a period where God has intended for a comma.

Learning about punctuation here.  This quote caught my eye.  Sometimes I wonder if we just weren't suppose to have kids.  Obviously it's not working for my own body to get or stay pregnant.  But that's only sometimes I feel that way.  Most times, I would like to be able to have kids.  (one way or another.)

I was re-reading this blog because a friend has started IVF and was asking me some detailed questions.  And I had to re-read my blog to remember the answers!  I am glad this is behind me.  I read an entry from Nov 2015 - called "The Odds Are Never In My Favor".  And I remembered that time.  And I wrote about how much I cried.  And I cried so much I felt empty inside.

I don't feel that way anymore.  I get sad still.  A little sad.  Nothing as deep and overwhelming as when I was going through this trial.

This past weekend, we traveled out of town.  My husband's nephew got baptized, so we went to support him.  One of the speakers was a track coach.  He told a story of something he had witnessed.  He was at a track meet.  And the runners were at the starting line.   The gun went off, and the runners started going.  One boy he knew ran and tripped and fell hard.    When he got up, he had skinned his his hands and knees.  He looked down at the blood, then looked ahead at the other runners.  They were already around the first bend of the track.   His coach expected him to walk off the track.  But he didn't.  He started running.  And after a while, he caught up with the slowest runners and passed them.  Then he started catching up with the faster runners.  The crowd noticed what he was doing, and they were all on their feet cheering for him.  (From both teams)   The speaker said he didn't remember who won that race, but how proud he was of that boy.  Who got up after he fell down and kept running.  And the whole stadium was cheering him on.  He used this as an analogy for my husband's nephew that has just gotten baptized.  There were times he would trip and fall. But he encouraged him to keep running, and that everyone there was supportive of him.

Later that day, I was talking with my husband about this.  I really liked the analogy, but it still made me sad.  (Applying this story to us- trying to start our family.)  I told him this was difficult to keep running, because I don't know where to go.  Doing infertility is like running the race around the track.  (Especially since I've done every procedure possible quite a few times.)   Doing adoption (to me) is like cross-country running... and I don't even know where the course is.  So that was hard for me.

I guess I need to find an adoption coach.