Friday, May 27, 2016

Results of blood test- "Some disappointments come regardless of your effort and preparation, for God wishes us to be strong as well as good."


I went back for another consult to see why I wasn't getting pregnant.  Dr. Craig told me the same 3 reasons why it possibly didn't work.
1)  It was just bad luck.  (Unexplained infertility)
2)  I was pregnant, but my immune system was attacking the embryo causing early miscarriage
3)  I was pregnant, but there was a micro blood clot that caused early miscarriage.  (even though I'm on Lovenox and baby aspirin)

So this time, I decided to pay for a blood test to see if my immune system is attacking the embryos they keep putting in. And that's why am not getting pregnant.  They have all these tests available.  It was just a financial decision not to do them.  Because my first IVF transfer, I didn't have a high success rate with just one embryo anyway.  (It was 38-40% chance of pregnancy).  So I figured that one was just bad odds.


But this last time, I had a very high chance of pregnancy with two good embryos transfered. (It was 78-80% this last time.)   But it still didn't work.


So I decided to bite the bullet and get the blood test done.  It was called an ACA/ LAG/ ANA test.  (Similar to a Lupus panel.)  This sounds weird, but I was kind of hoping this would come back positive.  Not that I want more problems or diseases, but at least I would know what the problem is.  Then maybe we could counteract it.


I had the blood work done at my regular doctor's office to try and get insurance to pay for it.  (I am one of the lucky ones- my insurance does cover some of the infertility treatments, but I have a lifetime max, and once I'm maxed out- it's done.)  So when the nurse from my regular doctor's office called, she was pleased to tell me that all my results came back negative.  (to her, that was good news.)  To me, that was kind of disappointing news.  I mean- I'm glad I don't have more health issues.  But at the same time, I was hoping for some answers.  So- we've ruled out possibility #2.     And even though #3 could be a possibility- maybe there was a micro blood clot, I'm doubtful.  I was taking baby aspirin daily and doing the Lovenox shots in my stomach.  (Which is a blood thinner.)  It was obviously doing it's job based on the bruises on my belly.   So my gut feeling says it was #1.  Just unexplained infertility.  Which is hard to combat...  and makes me question how many more times we should try this... probably one more time.  


I found an interesting quote by Jeffrey R. Holland.

It's called "For Times of Trouble"...   

This stuck out to me...  

"Some disappointments come regardless of your effort and preparation, for God wishes us to be strong as well as good."  

So, I feel like that's why I'm going through this infertility trial.  Like it or not, it is making me stronger.  And he flat out said that some disappointments come regardless of my effort and preparation (for these IVF transfers.)   So... that stuck out to me.  



"Some disappointments come regardless of your effort and preparation, for God wishes us to be strong as well as good. There, too, I say, 'Love your life, poor as it is.' Drive even these experiences into the corner, painful though they may be, and learn from them. In this, too, you have friends through the ages in whom you can take comfort and with whom you can form timeless bonds."

"If you are trying hard and living right and things still seem burdensome and difficult, take heart. Others have walked that way before you."

"In the gospel of Jesus Christ you have help from both sides of the veil, and you must never forget that. When disappointment and discouragement strike—and they will—you remember and never forget that if our eyes could be opened we would see horses and chariots of fire as far as the eye can see riding at reckless speed to come to our protection. They will always be there, these armies of heaven, in defense of Abraham’s seed."

Jeffrey R. Holland,
"In Times of Trouble"
BYU Devotional, March, 1980.
Read: PDF link
Listen: MP3 link below
(Sorry, there is no video available for this speech.)


So... that's where I'm at right now.  Still don't know the answers, but I know I am growing.


4 comments:

  1. I get chills when I read the account in 2 King 6, especially verses 15-17. HE always makes a way out for us. How long have you been trying to have a baby? I can't keep track of time and can't even remember how long ago you got married! It took my mom two years to get pregnant with my brother and over two years to get pregnant with me. I pray that all goes well for you. I did not try to get pregnant since I did not ever marry (and I took the pill faithfully). I think I would have liked to have a child. I took comfort in having doghters. lol? Thank you for sharing your struggle. I will remember you in my prayers. <3 Now go put Jasmine's jammies on her and get her ready for bed. ;-)

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  3. Oops, I left the 's' off the end of 2 King. I also wanted to say I like the 'thoughts' that you shared. <3

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