So... guess what... we're at it again.
Third time is the charm right?? Well, this will be our third Frozen Embryo Transfer. (Before that we did IVF, before that IUI's, before that random surgeries and procedures, and before that we just tried having intercourse like "normal" people. Nothing's worked so far. But this time will be different.
1) Because it will work and I will become pregnant.
-or-
2) Because this is for sure the last time we'll be doing any infertility treatments.
So, there are 2 ways to play this. The first time we did this (Round 1), I was very open about every step of the process That way, everyone knew what was going on, and I didn't have to answer so many questions. Also, I wrote down my experiences in the hopes that this might help someone else reading it who struggled with infertility. But I was expecting it to work. And after a very public emotional roller-coaster, I had to publicly acknowledge my broken, aching heart. And that was difficult to go through.
Round 2- I kept to myself. Only the people involved knew I was trying it again. Same routine, same shots, same appointments. I had better odds this time. 2 good fertilized embryos were implanted in me. But it had the same result. Unsuccessful. The recovery process was a little bit easier, simply because I had been through it before, so I didn't really get my hopes up. And also because I didn't have to face the world with my negative results.
Side Note: I'm not going to call them failures, because I didn't fail. I had a very insensitive elderly gentleman say to me: "I heard you failed". At the time, I was confused what he was talking about. So I said "Failed at what?" He said, "You didn't get pregnant." That totally caught me off-guard. I forgot that I had told him and his wife that we were doing infertility treatments last year, and I hadn't seen them in 6 months. I did my best not to get infuriated because were were in a public place. I downplayed it, and said it didn't work out. Then I changed the subject. But inside I was fired up. I DID NOT FAIL! I did EVERY SINGLE THING that was asked of me. I went through every procedure. I took every pill, got every shot, blood draw, ultrasound, suppository, procedure, etc. So far, I've had 3 fertilized embryos implanted inside me, and they haven't stuck around. Bu that has nothing to do with me. I did everything I could to make those work. So no, I did not fail. It took me a while to simmer down from that one. (I guess it's still kind of sensitive subject.) Note to others: Don't say that to a person going through infertility treatments. Not a good idea.
So that brings us to Round 3. And I debated whether to endure it privately or go through it publicly this time. And I think a mixture of both. I'll share when I'm ready. In the meantime, I would kindly request that you don't ask. (If I don't bring it up.) Like I said, I'll share when I'm ready.
But after talking with a friend of mine, I realized I needed to write this blog for others who are going through infertility. My friend "J" had sent me an email saying how she had been suffering with infertility for the past 2 years, just very privately. And it made me realize that I need to write this, so people know they are not alone. And that this is very common. The statistic is 1 in 8 women will have trouble conceiving. (for a large variety of reasons) And it just makes you feel better knowing you are not the only one going through this.
So that's why I'm sharing again. To help others understand the complex world of infertility- where they speak a whole different language made up mainly of acronyms. (IUI, IVF, EMD, HSG, RE) It's scary and hard to navigate, so it's helpful to have someone who has been down that road before. (I had several friends who did this for me.) So I am just returning the favor.
